Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
