Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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