I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
