Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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