Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
