After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
