I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
