the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
