It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You need Xanax blowdarts
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
