STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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