lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize