we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
