Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
