Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
