Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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