Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
