Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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