Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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