billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize