You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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