Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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