You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
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