sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
