I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So squirting runs in the family.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
