well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
