me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
why is half of my head shaved?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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