Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
