I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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