i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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