there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
