it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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