I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize