after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
