everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
