Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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