I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
