weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
