Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
