We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
