Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
