oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i drank out of a bidet.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Floor bacon is actually really good
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
