I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
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I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
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I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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