Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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