I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
