What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
