if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize