why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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