that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
