I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Randomize
