ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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