He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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