I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The uberlube is also flammable
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
