real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i used baking grease as lip gloss
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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