It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
