Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
