??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize