I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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